Friday, February 27, 2015

Steve Grand an Inspiration; His Kinky Gay Porn Past; The Rainbow Detective Agency by Ryan Field

Steve Grand an Inspiration

Here's a nice article about how Steve Grand helps gay people feel less lonely.

 ‘What really made a difference for me was the people that would write in and some of these people would tell me their life stories or stories of their All-American boys that got away. That made me realize this is why I did this — to connect people and to connect with people.” Grand recalls receiving thousands of letters from gay people who thanked him for them feel less alone in the world.

He really is an inspiration and a man who breaks so many barriers for other gay men, both in his age group and for all ages. 

You can read the rest here. His new album is due out on March 24th, and I'll be downloading that the first minute I can.

His Kinky Gay Porn Past

Here's a story about a guy who did gay for pay porn about twenty years ago...when he really needed the money. Before I get into this any further, I have to admit I just don't get that. I don't think it would be possible for me to do straight porn for any amount of money. Not physically possible.

But this guy did do straight porn first, and then he got into gay porn later.

 “He said he didn’t have any more work like that but if I was willing to try something else he could get me some work. I said I’d try anything, I should have clarified that. He got me a job, a one day shoot on the other side of the state he said they were eager to work with me so I drove over there.”

At first he refused doing gay porn, but then settled on doing it for $3,000. After that, he continued doing gay porn for the next year and a half. (I can't even imagine doing straight porn once, let alone for over a year.)

He stopped doing gay porn when he met a "girl" and he's been married to her or 18 years. She knows nothing about his gay porn past. And now he's wondering if he should tell her.

You can read the rest here. Frankly, I think he should keep it to himself. If he had done straight porn and he had kept that to himself no one would mind. Or, he would have told her years ago without thinking twice. Should it be any different with gay porn? I don't think so. But it usually is different...there's always shame involved.

The Rainbow Detective Agency
Book 2










Thursday, February 26, 2015

Nutella Bans "Lesbian"; Jack Falahee Won't Admit Sexuality; Meadows Are Not Forever

Nutella Bans "Lesbian"

In France, the Nutella company launched some kind of marketing campaign that allows people to customize their own jars with personal messages.

Evidently, they also decided to censor words like "Lesbian," "Muslim," and "Obese."

Internet users quickly discovered that they were not allowed to certain words in their messages, including the word 'lesbienne.' 

They then opened the source code of the page to see the full list of the banned words. 

They included a slew of insults and their spelling variations, and words related to unhealthy diets, such as 'obese,' 'diabetes,' 'fat' and controversial ingredient 'palm oil.' 

While gay and homosexual passed, 'Muslim' and 'lesbian' were forbidden. 

'Negative or insulting messages were directly removed from the field of possibilities,' Nutella said a statement.

If this is true, that's the worst kind of censorship there is. In full disclosure, I always have a jar of Nutella in the house. I won't be stocking any more after this.

You can read the rest here.  

Jack Falahee Won't Admit Sexuality

I've already posted about this actor, Jack Falahee, and how he won't say whether or not he's gay. And he's really sticking to this, with a few more additional comments.

'We don’t ask the actor playing James Bond what his sexual preference is,' he said this week on SiriusXM Progress. 'So I don’t know what it is, really, with trying to out actors who portray gay characters on television. But it is some sort of fascination in society.' 

The freshman series wraps up its season next week and Falahee's law student character of Conor Walsh and his memorable trysts with several different men have catapulted the previously unknown actor to stardom.

Being gay is not about sexual preference. That's just a small part of it. It's not a "fascination." It's about self-respect, pride, and something called equality. As a gay man who gets a kick in the face almost every single day of my life, I not only find it disingenuous of Falahee, but ignorant. He's the one who decided to play gay on TV and collect a nice big paycheck. I've never advocated forcing anyone to come out, however, under these circumstances with someone this vocal I personally think Falahee's words are an insult to every single gay person who has ever come out and suffered discrimination.

Falahee is only promoting more shame...the shame that still exists if you say you're gay. The shame that still exists if someone calls you gay and you're not. And that's what I dislike the most about him. 

You can read more here.

Meadows Are Not Forever 
 
 


Boners: Awkward Moments; Homophobic Teacher Sues; Madonna Falls on Her Ass; Amazon and Ellora's Cave

Boners: Awkward Moments

As the title suggests, this is pretty boilerplate. It's a humorous video where guys describe their most awkward boner moments.

Morning wood is one thing, but what happens when the gears down under start turning at much more unwanted moments? Things get awkward, and fast.

From sex pills to planes to sheer unexplainable bad timing, watch as these guys describe their awkward boner moments.

I remember reading once on a writer's blog that "morning wood" is cliche in erotic romance novels. And to be honest as a man I never got that. Why would something so important to men be considered cliche in sexy novels?

In any event, you can get there from here. 

Homophobic Teacher Sues

It always amazes me when I see how litigious these homophobes can be. There's now a teacher suing a New Jersey school district because they fired her after she allegedly went into a homophobic tirade...where she shouted about her religious beliefs. Yes, once again, it's all about these religious wing nuts and their hate for gay people. She's claiming they violated her right to free speech...yes, free speech.

This is what she did, of course, on Facebook:

The incident happened back in September 2011. After noticing a poster for LGBT Month hanging in the school hallway, Knox took to Facebook to express her outrage, writing

She said this:

“Why parade your unnatural immoral behaviors before the rest of us? I DO NOT HAVE TO TOLERATE ANYTHING OTHERS WISH TO DO. I DO HAVE TO LOVE AND SPEAK AND DO WHAT’S RIGHT!”

And this:

She then listed all her religious objections to the billboard, which included statements from the bible about homosexuality, calling homosexuality a sin and an act of “disobedience to God,” and calling for salvation through Mr. Jesus H. Christ.

You can read the rest of the details here. This is an interesting case to follow for two reasons. The homophobic vs free speech aspect goes without saying. But should a public school teacher be allowed to even mention anything religious in a public school? What defines hate speech?

Madonna Falls on Her Ass

This article's melodramatic title makes it appear Madonna almost died as a result of a wardrobe malfunction. You can be the judge of that yourselves.

The Living for Love hit maker was wearing a black Armani cape. The plan was for the backup dancer to pull the cape off to reveal a sparkly red getup underneath. But before doing so, Madonna was supposed to untie the strap around her neck.

Evidently the strap was too tight because when the backup grabbed the cape, he accidentally pulled Madonna down with it.

In other words, she fell on her fifty something year old ass. You can call that ageism or whatever PC term you want. But in this particular case she's well into her fifties and trying to behave like someone in their twenties and it just doesn't work. Life doesn't work that way: we all get old. There's nothing wrong with being fifty-five, and you can still look great and feel great, but you can't turn back the clock. She should be glad she didn't break a fucking hip.

Sorry if I'm not all broken up about this. There are people of all ages dying of cancer, AIDS, and suffering in all kinds of ways that none of us even want to imagine. I know this first hand. Madonna's senior citizen ass will survive this attempt at freebie publicity. 

You can read more here. 

Amazon and Ellora's Cave

Here's a link to a publishing related article that talks, in part, about how Amazon and e-books are changing and how those changes are hitting e-publishers. I honestly don't know how else to put that, because it's not a simple matter. And I think every digital only author and digital only publisher has been experiencing something similar to this for a while now.

I'm not commenting on this one because it is so complicated, because publishing and e-books are constantly changing, and because I think of Ellora's Cave as one of the digital book publishing pioneers. I have never worked with them, or had anything published with them, but I have been working with other small digital pioneers for over a decade now and I owe a great deal to them all. So I can't be objective this time.

And frankly, I still can't figure out half the shit Amazon pulls. And do they pull shit!

You can read this here. There's also mention of a legal matter between Ellora's Cave and some small time romance book reviewer in the mid-west most people never heard of, or care much about. I think it's one of those cute kitten blogs with droll elitist snark that got tired years ago...but don't quote me on that. I'm not up on my droll little bloggers. It's just interesting from a small time blogging POV.


Meadows Are Not Forever 

 
 







Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Gay Family Emojis iOS; Michael Sam and the NFL; Patricia Arquette Criticized by Gays

Gay Family Emojis iOS

Apple is now doing racially diverse and LGBT family images, which is part of iOS's 8.3 update.

The new update includes emojis with six different skin tones, as well as a selection of family-based emojis which include children posing with exclusively male or female parents.  

It's an excellent idea and I wish more greeting card companies would do this. Try to imagine what it must be like to go shopping for your same sex husband for anniversaries or any significant occasion. There's not much out there.

You can read the rest here.

Michael Sam and the NFL

I posted yesterday about openly gay football player, Michael Sam, being part of the line up for the next Dancing with the Stars. I guess people have been questioning him about football and this is how he's replying:

'Football remains my unquestioned number 1 priority,' he tweeted. 'However, while I continue to train and stay ready, I am ecstatic to participate in a fun, athletic competition like so many players before me have done,'

Sam added: 'Filming this off season is very flexible and allows me to be part of the veterans combine if accepted or any other workouts.'

There's more here. I love Michael Sam for many reasons, but so far I haven't seen one thing in a gay publication mentioned about whether or not he's going to be dancing with a man in DWtS. And if he's not I don't think I'll watch this time. I know men dance with women and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I dance with women all the time. I know women dance with women and there's nothing wrong with that. But you never see two men ballroom dancing on television and that bothers me. So I can't help but think it's a bit disingenuous for Sam to go through this entire public coming out process and wind up dancing with a woman instead of a man.

There's just something very wrong about that for me. If you're gay, be gay all the way.

Patricia Arquette Criticized by Gays

When Rose McGowan made snarky comments about gay men being more interested in pride floats and skimpy bathing suits than supporting women's rights I have to admit I did get offended by what she said and the way she said it. But I'm not offended in the least by what Arquette said. I completely agree with her.

'To every woman who gave birth, to every taxpayer and citizen of this nation, we have fought for everybody else’s equal rights,' she said. 'It’s time to have wage equality once and for all. And equal rights for women in the United States of America.' 

Arquette went on to elaborate on her comments backstage, arguing that it’s time people of colour and the LGBTI community to fight for women’s rights, like women have fought for theirs. 

'So the truth is, even though we sort of feel like we have equal rights in America, right under the surface, there are huge issues that are applied that really do affect women,' she said. 'And it’s time for all the women in America and all the men that love women, and all the gay people, and all the people of color that we've all fought for to fight for us now.'

She was criticized in a number of ways for making these statements, and you can read more about them here.

This isn't the second or third time I've heard women asking for help from the gay community. And I do think many gay men like me do support them, but there are still a lot more out there who don't. And that needs to change. In case you haven't noticed, fighting for equal rights is NOT exclusive to the gay male community.


Meadows Are Not Forever 

 
 

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Will Michael Sam Dance With Men on Dancing With the Stars; Neil Partick Harris Mixed Reviews; Gay Sex in The Imitation Game

Will Michael Sam Dance With Men on Dancing With the Stars

This looked a little odd to me at first...reading about Michael Sam being on Dancing With the Stars. I like DWtS, don't get me wrong, and I like Michael Sam. One of the few things I've never done in my life that I've always wanted to do was good ballroom dancing. I watch in amazement when I see good ballroom dancing. It's the reason I love Silver Linings Playbook so much...he couldn't dance well, but he pulled it off with determination and a lot of hard work.

But, this should be interesting with Michael Sam.

Michael Sam has been chosen to appear on ABC's Dancing With the stars. 

The first openly gay player ever drafted by a National Football League team will be among the celebrities competing when the season's roster is unveiled Tuesday (24 February) on ABC's Good Morning America, according to TMZ. 

Sam made the cover of Sports Illustrated when he came out publicly just after completing his stellar college career at the University of Missouri. 

It doesn't say whether or not Sam will dance with men on DWtS. And I'm curious about that. I think it's important. One would think he would dance with men. It would make perfect sense.

You can read the rest here.  This is all according to TMZ.

Neil Patrick Harris Mixed Reviews

In full disclosure, I didn't watch the Oscars. They bore me, especially at the middle. But I did follow Twitter while watching Downton Abbey, so I basically knew what was going on during the Oscars. Unfortunately, I missed Neil Patrick Harris in his underwear.

In any event, there were mixed reviews that I don't think can be blamed on NPH. And, this year the Oscars had the lowest ratings in years.

'I'm glad that it's done and I'm sorry that I read Twitter,' said Harris. 

Ripa's co-host Michael Strahan asked Harris to compare hosting the Oscars to the Emmys which he has hosted twice and the Tonys which he has hosted four times. 

'The Oscars, it's a juggernaut - a gigantic show,' Harris said. 'It's a lot of hurdles and a lot of laps around the track.' 

He said one of his goals was to make the live audience inside the theater feel welcome but to also make television viewers feel a part of things as well.

In any event, Lady Gaga stole the entire show when she performed a medley of songs from The Sound of Music. Now if we can only get Julie Andrews to do Bad Romance life will be perfect. 

You can read the rest here.  There's also a very excellent feature in this month's Architectural Digest with NPH and his husband, with a photo spread of their Harlem home.Side note: I wanted to move to Harlem fifteen years ago and Tony refused. We could have found something very reasonable at the time.

Gay Sex in the Imitation Game

Well. There is no gay sex in The Imitation Game. I haven't seen this yet, but I will.

Here's why there was no sex:

“It was not because we were afraid it would offend anybody. If I … had this thing about a straight character, I would never have a sex scene to prove that he’s heterosexual. If I have a gay character in a movie, I need to have a sex scene in it — just to prove that he’s gay?”

I’m not shying away from it. His whole relationship, how he falls in love and the importance of him being a gay man, was all about secrecy.

He had some sexual partners, but it was few and far between. The only reason to have a sex scene in the film would be to satisfy critics who feels that every gay character needs to have a gay sex scene.”

I don't totally agree with that. That's NOT the only reason to have a gay sex scene. Sex isn't all about being gay, but it's huge part of it and it's why we are so discriminated against and why religions shun us. They don't hate us because we have good taste in design, they hate us because we suck dick. In this case, it almost sounds as if they're not putting gay sex in on purpose just to prove a point. And I don't think it's a very valid point.

As I said, being gay is NOT all about sex, but sex is a big part of it.  So it serves no point to pretend gay sex doesn't exist...unless, of course, there's a valid reason why the gay character doesn't have sex...a fundamental issue in the plot. And there are reasons. It just doesn't sound as if this one is valid.

You can check this out here. 

There's no gay sex in this book of mine, Meadows Are Not Forever. But there's a very good reason for it I can't give you without spoilers. 

Meadows Are Not Forever 




Monday, February 23, 2015

Guys and First Boyfriends; Regrowing Foreskin, Again; Big Gay Ass

Guys and First Boyfriends

In the article I'm linking to now, guys talk about their experiences with first boyfriends. It's a series of pics with quotes that I guess might be interesting to some people. To be honest, it just looks so cliche to me.

Love is an open door, a battlefield and a losing game. It makes the world go round, makes a world of difference and makes a family.

In short, love’s a bitch, but we love it. And there’s nothing like that first boyfriend, those first kisses, the first time you stay up all night talking with someone.

We teamed up with our pals at Whisper to hear about some “first boyfriend confessions,” because young love is everything mentioned above sprinkled with a little extra crazy.

My only comment is that I had several first boyfriends, and nothing quite as dramatic as these photos imply...or mushy. We parted on good terms, and I always believe that's the best way to end it. But when it's over, it's over. Period.

You can read the rest here. And if you really want to read the most interesting part of this article, skip to the comments. Oh, those wonderful, honest comments.

 how do these people get boyfriends in the first place?! I’m 23 and I still have never dated anybody, and yet gays get boyfriends in high school now!? How?!

Regrowing Foreskin, Again


With yet another article on the topic of foreskin, this time it's about how readers responded to a previous article about how scientists are working on a way to regrow foreskin.  This one, again, is all about the comments...and reactions to foreskin and the concept of regrowing it.

Naturally, this sparked quite an outcry. Robertson’s comment received over 20 replies.

“You want to talk about nasty?” David Runyan responded. “Let’s talk about trapping an open wound in a diaper with feces and urine every night. Before you cut your son make a small cut on your thigh, get some used toilet paper, get it moist with some urine and tape it to the cut and leave it over night.”
(Um. We think we’ll pass.)

“My feet get dirty because I walk around barefoot sometimes,”Jeremy Homer added, “but I’m not going to cut them off for the sake of being clean.”

I'm actually fairly neutral on the topic. I don't hate foreskin, I don't love it. It's all about the man attached that matters most to me. Frankly, I would like to think there are so many more important things to research than trying to regrow foreskin.

But this was at least amusing:

To which Cassie Elizabeth Waldeck replied with this pearl of wisdom, “If my circumcised husband doesn’t shower his balls stink. Circumcised men still need to wash their genitals.”

I hope someone thanked her for stating the obvious. The same concept applies to vagina. 

You can read the rest here.

Big Gay Ass

For the life of me I'll never get this obsession for a guy with a big HUGE ass. I've always been more attracted to guys with slim hips and more of a V-shape. But this article I'm talking about now is focused on guys with some of the biggest, roundest bubble asses I've ever seen.

There is, however, a redeeming feature that makes it all worth while.

Pygophilia refers to sexual arousal caused by the buttocks (a.k.a. a butt fetish), and is one of the most common fetishes among the human species. Entire songs have been devoted to the subject, including BeyoncĂ©’s “Bootylicious,” J. Lo’s “Booty,” and, of course, Sir Mix-a-Lot’s classic butt anthem “Baby Got Back."

Pygophilia is especially prevalent among gay men. According to the all-knowing Wikipedia, “much of gay male sexuality centers on anal intercourse and penetration, so the buttocks are eroticized in that sector due to their proximity to the anus and the genitals.”

I didn't know about Pygophilia. Bet most people don't know it. So go over and check it out here...with pics of some of the biggest gay ass you ever saw.


Meadows Are Not Forever 









Sunday, February 22, 2015

Zachary Quinto on "Queerbaiting"; Happily Married Threesome; Meadows Are Not Forever by Ryan Field

Zachary Quinto on "Queerbaiting"

I've been posting about this for a long time but I called it "gaybaiting." Queer or gay, it's still baiting and still means the same thing. It's when "they" bait gay people with gay storylines on TV or films and nothing really ever happens, or when so-called straight white men like James Franco use gay issues and culture to the point of exploitation just to spark the curiosity of gay men so they can gain attention and money. There are other forms, too, and I'm using men this time because I don't see it happen with women...although I'm sure it does.

Zachary Quinto who is gay was recently asked how he feels about "queerbaiting," because he's been involved in some of it himself with a film he was promoting with James Franco. 

Zachary Quinto sounded off on the likes of male stars like James Franco and Nick Jonas, who have been criticized for "queerbaiting" their gay fans with steamy photo shoots and same-sex love scenes in movies even though they identify as straight in their offscreen lives. 

Quinto, who stars opposite Franco in 2015's "I Am Michael," told HuffPost Live host Josh Zepps that he didn't have an issue with the phenomenon, saying, "These guys who are, in many ways, considered very conventionally desirable, attractive leading men... lending themselves to these kinds of stories is a valuable thing for our culture."

Of course this could also be called exploiting a popular issue for monetary gain, not to mention cultural appropriation. We don't need help with our culture. Our culture is fine as it stands, thank you. 

Quinto also went on to discuss other matters for which he's been criticized. You can read the rest here. 

The comments are interesting in a sad kind of way, and in some ways they prove how far all LGBT people have to go yet...within the LGBT community. Many just don't get the simple fact that if James Franco or Nick Jonas were to have the audacity to do this with any other minority they would be slammed racist and placed on the same guest list as Paula Deen. Personally, I think it backfires in the long run. A lot of gay people might not realize this is happening right now. But they will.

Happily Married Threesome

This is interesting to me because I've written about long term three-way relationships with gay men, and I've known men in three-way long term relationships personally (I will post in-depth about this someday). In my fiction I've always made a point of stating there would be no legal marriage between a three-way relationship. Not for any strong reason other than that's not how things work in our society and I don't want readers to think I don't know any better.

But here's a story about a three-way relationship where they all got married to each other in Thailand.

These three Thai men, identified only as Joke, Bell and Art, thaied (zing) the three-way knot earlier this week in a traditional Thai water-pouring ceremony.

They shared the following batch of wedding photos, which elicit all sorts of questions. But mostly, the three look happy.

The article also states this was not a legal marriage...for the same reasons I've always made this clear in my books.

Side note: As I stated, I have seen long term three-way relationships. Several. But I have never seen one last more than a few years. 

You can read more and see photos here. 

Meadows Are Not Forever