Sunday, December 21, 2014

Gay Pride Attack Austin; Cher Crap; Gays in Cuba and Obama

Gay Pride Attack Austin

An Army vet, Lambert Borgardt, received a 10 year probation sentence plus two hours of community service for his brutal attack on two gay men at Austin Pride in 2012. Borgardt left one of the gay men beaten to the point where he lost five teeth, and the other was left beaten to the point of a fractured nose.

According to this source, this is why the attack on the gay men took place:

The duo was waiting for their pizza at a food truck after attending gay pride festivities when Borgadt, an army veteran, reportedly thought Soret was checking him out. Borgardt became enraged and punched both men in the face. 

The rest is here. A grand jury decided not to press hate crime charges. There's not much more to share...other than the Army vet sounds filled with remorse at this point.

Cher Crap

I'll admit I'm not the die-hard fan of Cher that other gay men seem to be. I just don't get it. I never did. I think she's okay but wouldn't stand in any long lines to see her. But I'll keep this objective as much as I can.

Cher is hawking merchandise now on her web site, which includes all things Cher from sweatshirts to mugs. For $55 you can get an ugly holiday Cher sweatshirt...well, because it's Cher.

Let’s face it, our lady Cher will do anything for a buck. Over the years she’s hawked perfume, Lori Davis Hair products, Aquasentials skin care products, Equal Zero-Calorie Sweetener, exercise videos and, oh yeah, movies and albums, too. Her latest business endeavor: holiday-themed merchandise, including t-shirts, sweatshirts, ornaments, and coffee mugs, all featuring the dance diva and available for sale on her website.

Check out the rest here. 

Speak for yourself. She's not my lady :) 

Gays in Cuba and Obama

I normally wouldn't mention anything about Cuba here, but this time it includes a gay angle I think is important in a general sense. Cuba doesn't have the best record on human rights or gay rights. There are no pride events, and nothing even remotely considered an LGBT movement. Past treatment of people with HIV and AIDS is dismal at best. The question of whether or not the Obama administration is going to address the LGBT issue in it's talks with Cuba still remains to be seen. So far, like with all other hot topic issues, the Obama administration always remains cautious.

Now that the U.S. is talking to Cuba, will the Obama Administration be willing to raise these issues as part of the conversation? The Administration had a few moment of forcefulness at the height of the Olympic Games homophobia. But when the spotlight faded, so did the rhetoric.

The U.S. and Cuba have a lot of things to discuss, and in all fairness, LGBT issues aren’t going to be at the top of the list. But the question will be, where are they on the list? Or are they on the list at all? It’s worth keeping on eye on the developing relationship to see just how much the Administration thinks our community in Cuba really matters.

You know, I don't buy into that anymore..."In all fairness LGBT issues aren't going to be at the top of the list." It's like, be good gay people, wait your turn because you're not as important as everyone else. This is from a gay publication? It should read more like "In all REALITY LGBT issues are at the bottom of the barrel and of little concern to anyone at this point." Because that's really what it comes down to and I'm tired of making excuses for LGBT issues NOT being at the top of the list.

Let's hope I'm wrong and the issue is discussed. You can read the rest here.

Chase of a Christmas Dream


Thank you to the readers who have left Amazon reviews so far. I hate to blast that on social media for various reasons. But I really do appreciate it!! 

Saturday, December 20, 2014

"James Flacco" and Sony; Warwick Rowers Full Frontal Nudity; One Direction Man Crushes

"James Flacco" and Sony

I'm not a fan of James Franco (and the way he gay baits), Seth Rogen, or "The Interview." And it bothers me immensely that we're even discussing this important matter of censorship and terrorism with such a ridiculous film and such arrogant privileged people. But it is what it is. And just because it's a hideous film doesn't mean anyone has the right to censor it.

At least the President showed us he's not as familiar with James Franco as others referring to him as James Flacco. I think that was my finest Obama moment. The thought that he may even have done it on purpose makes it more amusing. I might start referring to good old Flacco that way myself from now on. This way we all know who he is and we don't have to actually say it aloud.

In any event, all that's pointless compared to some of the things President Obama said earlier today. One of which is something I've been saying over and over again on the blog for years now. I hope it happens.

He did express hope that "the wild west" of Internet hacking would be brought under control by a uniform set of international laws and rules.

The president also referred to an FBI announcement just hours before he took the podium.

I'm tired of all things wild west about the internet, from the hacking to the gaming to the free range attitude where you can say whatever you want, to whomever you want, with any name you choose, and get away with it without dealing with any consequences at all. It's time for a change.

Side note: I find those who are against any international set of laws and rules are those who have profited from the wild west days the most. You know who I'm talking about, especially with books. 

You can read the rest here.

Warwick Rowers Full Frontal Nudity

Evidently, in promoting their new calendar the Warwick Rowers have a video out with full frontal uncircumcised nudity.I haven't posted much about the nude calendar events this holiday season because frankly I'm sick of them all. But this does sound interesting.

Christmas has come a week early in the form of British beefcake foreskin.
Our favorite naked athletes, the Warwick Rowers, have released a new video chronicling the creation of their 2015 calendar, and it’s chock full of pale-skinned peen.

Watch as a drone camera creepily captures the good-sported beauties as they frolic through the woods in what can only be described as a pipe dream.

You can read more here, and here's a direct link to the video. The money does go to a good cause and you can learn more about them at the latter link. It's the one redeeming feature about all these nude calendars.

 One Direction Man Crushes

Not the most important news of the world right now, but still kind of interesting. It kind of puts the gay for you theory into perspective.

We’ve heard who straight guys would go gay for, and it’s pretty much what you’d expect, but what about the ambiguously straight pop nuggets of the world? Surely they must have man crushes of their own.

The man-boys of One Direction have put our curiosity to rest by dishing on their same-sex admirations. Here’s what they had to say:

I actually to get it. I have a straight crush on Jennifer Aniston. It's not impossible and I think there's another level of awareness none of us have really bothered to tap into...pardon the pun. And, to be clear, this has nothing at all to do with conversion therapy.

You can read the rest here. 

Chase of a Christmas Dream


Friday, December 19, 2014

Racism on The View; Rimming Safety Tips; Virgin Robbie Rogers

Racism on The View

I've seen this topic come up before on Twitter several times in the past few weeks and I think it's worth posting about. (It's not the exact definition of cultural appropriation, but I think it's a sneaky passive aggressive form of cultural appropriation, like when someone not part of a minority tries to take on the elements of a particular minority.) In this case, Rosie O'Donnell was trying to tell Whoopi Goldberg what racism is and how she understands it as well as Whoopi.

Of course that's not possible to know unless you're African American. If you come from a place of privilege and dominance you can't take on the feelings of a minority that way. Rosie O'Donnell might be gay and she might know what gaycism is...I know what gaycism is...but she, nor I, know what racism is because we're not African American. I've seen what can only be termed as cries of distress on Twitter from other African Americans who find it insulting and racist when white people claim to know and understand how African Americans feel. It's something that really bothers me.

In any event, Whoopi put Rosie in her place:

Nicole: "Do you all think we live in a racist country?"
Rosie: "Without a doubt!"
Whoopi: "Is it just ridiculousness or is it racism?!"
Rosie O: "It's racist and it's stupid!'
Rosie P: 'It's both!'
Rosie O: "It's two things at once!
Whoopi: "I just see it as stupid!"

And it continued:

Rosie O: "I am a gay American who has been called a [bleeped word] and I know what hatred and homophobia looks like!"
Whoopi: "It's not the same!"
Rosie: "I have a black kid I raised Whoopi! I have a kid in my house!"
Whoopi: "That is not the same!"
Rosie: "You don't have to be black to know what racism is!"
Whoopi: "Yes you do!"
Rosie: "No you don't!"
Whoopi: "Yes you do baby!"
Rosie: "No you do not!"

Sorry Rosie, I'm with Whoopi on this one. It's not the same. And Rosie would be the first one to stand and shout foul if someone tried to use that kind of subtle cultural appropriation on her as a gay woman.

You can read the rest here.

And here's an excellent piece on cultural appropriation I think is worth reading just so you know what it is. Here's an excerpt. It's not directly related to Rosie and Whoopi, but there's a lot of it going on these days everywhere you look.

Why Cultural Appropriation Is a Problem
Cultural appropriation remains a concern for a variety of reasons. For one, this sort of “borrowing” is exploitative because it robs minority groups of the credit they deserve. Art forms, music forms, etc., that originated with minority groups come to be associated with members of the dominant group. As a result the dominant group is deemed innovative and edgy, while the disadvantaged groups they “borrow” from continue to face negative stereotypes that imply they’re lacking in intelligence, creativity and more. In addition, when members of a dominant group appropriate the cultures of others, they often reinforce stereotypes about minority groups.

Rimming Safety Tips

Every once in a while the topic of rimming comes up again and it's always so surprising that so many know so little about it...from a clinical POV. So here's a link that talks about safety tips I think are important. And, it's short and sweet with links to other excellent articles. Unfortunately, when you search for rimming you find mostly porn...which doesn't help at all in real life. I'm going to work on that more in the future. Maybe one long post on the topic from a more clinical POV.

Rimming, or oral stimulation of the anus, but there are a few precautions you should take before the fun begins. Did you know since the mouth comes into contact with the anus during rimming, it's possible to contract or spread parasites and STDs like
hepatitis , some forms of which aren't curable?

Here's the link.

Virgin Robbie Rogers

Robbie Rogers isn't a virgin anymore, but he was at one time. And this article has a few direct quotes from him on the topic. He talks about losing his virginity to a woman first, and then to a man. And for those of you who don't think there's a difference, like Rosie O'Donnell with racism, you're wrong. There's a huge difference.

“My first time with a guy was actually not until I was 25, after I came out,” 27-year-old Rogers explains.

He describes the experience as “super awkward,” but leaves it at that. No sordid details, unfortunately. Though we’re sure it couldn’t have been any worse than what these guys went through.

“I mean, can you imagine dating and hooking up with a guy after 25 years?” Rogers asks. “I’m sure that he was like: What is going on?!”

It's typical poorly written magazine tripe...he explains, he asks, he quips, etc... But I think it's interesting to note that even Robbie Rogers waited until he was 25 to have his first gay experience. Most of us did wait until our twenties. I was a lot younger, admittedly, but most gay guys seem to be about 25...or older. So if you're pushing 30 and still a virgin you're not doing anything wrong. It'll happen eventually.  

The rest is here.  

Chase of a Christmas Dream

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Russell Tovey: Rimming on "Looking"; Dick Necklace Outrage; 10 Year Old Looking for Boys

Russell Tovey: Rimming on "Looking"

In this article out "Looking" actor, Russell Tovey, discusses his sex scenes with Jonathan Groff, and a cake that says, "Birthdays are like rim jobs you gotta get involved open up and get ready for another great year." I guess commas don't count in cake.

Tovey said this about the sex scenes:

"As the season goes on you'll see where that comes from," Tovey quips. "We were on a night shoot during our lunch and that cake turned up and I was over the moon. My mom and dad were like, 'Oh, I love the cake. Not sure about the rim job. Yeah, not sure of the words -- but the cake looks lovely!'"

As for the attention his well-sculpted derrière has gotten on social media, Tovey notes, "In the future, I imagine myself looking back and going, 'God, I had a nice ass. Glad I got that out.' If it's there now, I'm getting it out because it's not always gonna look like that ... I've grown it myself, and I also have my parents to thank for it being well-received."

He's right, you know. It won't stay that way forever. Smart man to realize that at 33 years old. After 40 the real struggle begins. I was born in 1970. You find yourself running longer each morning and jogging faster up more hills :)

You can read the rest here, where there's another link to a full interview with Tovey.

Dick Necklace Outrage

Just when you think it can't get weirder, you see an article where there's controversy over a freaking penis necklace.

Tom Ford designed a $790 penis necklace in gold or silver that loosely resembles a cross. Frankly, I wouldn't wear a dick necklace, nor would I pay $790 for anything dick related. THAT should be free. I probably wouldn't have designed anything that declasse either. Shoot me; I'm more conservative about things like jewelry and good taste. I won't wear Crocs either. In the same respect, I don't think it's the end of the world. Crocs never hurt anyone and they've been around for years now.

Here's what's being said:

"A designer gets a little too cute with my religion at Christmastime, and uses sexual imagery to make a quick buck off of it," he said. "Sounds like someone who is not exactly Catholic-friendly, and has some sexual hang-ups as well. It doesn’t take a Ph.D. in Profiling to guess just who might be behind this sick gambit."

Gay Star News reported that others took to Twitter to criticize Ford over the phallic pendant.
The 53-year-old fashion star debuted the necklace at his spring-summer 2015 show in London over the summer. At the time, Esquire noted the possibility that the penis cross may be an allusion to the phallus-shaped fascinus charms worn by ancient Romans.

It could have been designed much differently. It is in poor taste, both actually and theoretically. In fact, it's painfully ugly. The testicles look a bit deformed...if that's what they are...maybe they're acorns. It's hard to tell whether they were going for realism or that, you know, "artistic" quality that so often fails. Think Yoko Ono. You can see a photo at the site to which I'm linking.

Here you go. Dick jewelry at it's worst.  

Side note for single people: I don't think I'd go out with anyone that wore a gold dick around his neck either. But that's just my opinion.

10 Year Old Looking for Boys

Here's an article written by a really cool mom who seems to be doing all the right things. It's about her 10 year old son taking Zumba, which is usually (but not always) for girls, and how she reacted to comments like, "I'll bet your son loves that. He's the only boy and has his pick of the girls." You know, funny ha-ha straight humor that always makes us cringe.

As it turns out, her son isn't interested in his "pick" of the girls. Her son is more interested in boys.

Yeah, I do know that that's kind of ridiculous. In the past couple of years, we've dealt with our fair share of shock-and-awe reactions to our son's orientation. We've also dealt with the "Is this still happening?" reaction as the years have gone by. But it never stops bothering me when people automatically assume he's straight. I got so annoyed that I just started correcting people.

"No," I'd say, "he's not interested in girls like that. He's gay. He says girls are for friends."

Then the response came, and almost always the same response: "Really? How can he know that? He's so young."

These people failed to see the contradiction in their words. They'd just implied that my son had picked his after-school club so that he could get some fourth-grade-style action from the girls, but then they said he's too young to know he likes boys. They assumed that he would be after girls, which means they assumed that he already knew he was straight, yet the idea that he might already know he is gay came as such a shock.

There's so much simple common sense in that statement it's hard to believe society has been brainwashed to believe otherwise. I knew at 3 years old. I don't know when my brother first realized. I never asked him that question. We didn't find out about each other until we were in our 20's and ran into each other in a gay bar. But I do remember this conversation well with a relative at a wedding once.

Relative to my brother: Well, I guess the next family gathering where we'll see each other will be YOUR wedding.

My brother: Or YOUR funeral.

You can read the rest here. It's a great article for all parents to read just so we never have to hear the stupid question, "How can he know that?" again.

Chase of a Christmas Dream

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Sony Attackers and James Franco; HIV Stigma Continues; Nash Grier and Homophobia;

Sony Attackers and James Franco

This isn't something I would normally post, but since I've been following the interesting gay baiting tactics James Franco and Seth Rogan continue to do all over social media I think it's the most important Franco related story out there to date. At least it beats his pretending to suck Seth Rogan's face.

The Sony Attackers, who refer to themselves as The Guardians of Peace, are now threatening horrific terrorist attacks at movie theaters where Franco and Rogan's film, The Interview, will be playing. The film is a satire about North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un. According to many reviews so far, this movie really sucks and that has nothing to do with terrorists. This is from Variety:

Oppressive, fascistic dictatorships have proved fertile ground for comic filmmakers from Chaplin and Lubitsch to Wes Anderson and Quentin Tarantino (whose “Inglourious Basterds” is another obvious reference point here). But “The Interview” is scarcely as funny or absurd as the average news item about North Korea itself, with two main characters who are so aggressively annoying that you secretly hope the assassination plot will turn against them. Franco, who can be an inspired, inventive actor when he wants to be, plays Skylark as a smart person’s idea of a stupid person, and after a while his puppyish energy and incessant ear-to-ear grin become toxic to behold. Rogen, meanwhile, soldiers along as dutifully as he can, playing his sad-sack Sancho Panza routine to diminishing returns. Where oh where are Team America: World Police when we really need them?

But this, below, sounds very serious, and the bad reviews aren't the only reason The Interview is making headlines:

"We will clearly show it to you at the very time and places [sic] "The Interview" be shown, including the premiere, how bitter fate those who seek fun in terror should be doomed to," the chilling message reads.

"Soon all the world will see what an awful movie Sony Pictures Entertainment has made," it continues. "The world will be full of fear.

"Remember the 11th of September 2001."

The hackers caution people from going to the showings and even advise them to leave their homes if they live close to a theater showing the film.

"The Interview" is set to premiere on Christmas Day.

 You can read the rest here.

The article goes on to mention more about the Sony attacks. There are varying opinions everywhere on the entire topic. Some say we're giving in to terrorists by avoiding the film. Some are genuinely afraid. Others don't feel the need to support another bad film by Franco and Rogan just to make a statement.

HIV Stigma Continues

I've posted more than once about how HIV and the stigma attached to it continues to fester all over the world, even here in the US. There's an interesting study out, and here are a few findings.
  • 97 percent of people interviewed reported experiencing at least one legal issue in the past year.
  • On average, respondents reported having over six such issues in the past year alone. Some of the top areas included consumer law and debt (48%), accessing health care (46%), housing (43%), and immigration (18.9%).
  • Over 1 in 4 reported experiencing HIV discrimination within the last 5 years (28%). 16 percent reported it within the last year alone.
  • Of respondents who reported experiencing HIV discrimination within the last year, over half experienced discrimination in health care settings, one third in employment, and almost one fifth in housing.
  • Despite the large number of legal needs, only 16 percent of individuals who identified a legal need received legal assistance. Of those who tried to access legal services, 20 percent felt that their legal provider was insensitive to people living with HIV.

I posted about my dealings as POA with my HIV poz friend who had to fight to get his disability insurance reactivated after it was denied due to a mix up at a doctor's office...took him over six months to get it back. We needed an attorney to handle that. I didn't feel comfortable doing it alone.

What they don't go into detail about is the stigma within the gay community itself when it comes to HIV. 

The rest is here. 

Nash Grier and Homophobia

I've also posted about Nash Grier, a Vine star, who posted what's been dubbed as a homophobic rant on Vine. This time I'm on his side and I think the gay guy who wrote this article needs a kick in his big gay ass.

The video is about HIV/AIDS and ends with Grier screaming the word “FAAAAAG!” before smirking into the camera.

Even though Grier received praise from the idiots in his small North Carolina high school at the time of the video release, it didn't go over well with the rest of the world and Grier has been taking heat from it ever since. The article to which I'm linking doesn't even have an ounce of sympathy for him. And frankly, I find that highly disingenuous of the author since this particular publication I'm linking to is the first to exploit and sensationalize gay men, the first to promote gay baiting, the first to pass off advertorials as real articles, and the first to present the fresh hells of all things queer for the sake of clickbait. I could run out of room if I continue to list them. But I digress.

I feel sorry for Grier. He was young and he made a mistake. And now he's on a campaign to rectify his mistake. He wrote an op-ed piece for Huff Po.

“As humans we’re going to make mistakes,” Grier writes. “I, Nash Grier, have made more mistakes than I can remember. Some big, some small, some nobody has seen, and some millions of people have seen.”

He includes this, in his very heartfelt, honest, humble apology.

“I never once had a problem with someone’s sexuality or sexual preference,” Grier insists. “I can’t stress to you enough how far off the title ‘homophobic’ is from my actual personality.”

He continues to apologize and give examples to the point where he might be overcompensating a little bit. But he's just a kid, an honest young guy who's trying his best. He's not the President with advisers...and he's not a big movie star like James Franco laughing at gay people daily. Who in this world is so perfect they've never said or done something they regret? And yet THIS is what the gay asshole who wrote the article said:

In all seriousness, we’re not about to continue holding a grudge against a teenager. He did a dumb thing. We know it. He knows it. So, Nashy boy, we’ll accept your apology. Hell, we’ll accept your acceptance and respect, too. But then we’re going to cast you back off into obscurity.

Bon voyage.

Well, Nash, just so you know. Not all gay people feel that same way that snarky asshole feels. I'm gay and I believe your apology and I don't think you're homophobic. It takes a big person to apologize that way in public. I think it's the first real apology I've seen regarding this issue. Don't let some hack of a writer who'll do anything for a buck like the one above push you into obscurity.


The rest is here.  The comments are mixed. Evidently, a few agree with me. A few don't seem to be up on technology or the way celebrity and fandom is changing, with respect to up and coming Vine and Youtube stars.

Chase of a Christmas Dream


Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Naked Guy Friends; Franco and Rogan Suck Face; Harry Louis Lawsuit

Naked Gay Friends

Some things are simple. This is one of them. It talks about how male friends react to seeing each other naked.

It's a video:

What a lovely way to kick off the work week. The folks over at BuzzFeed found three sets of straight male besties who had never seen each other naked, then invited them into the studio to check out one another in the buff for the very first time because, well, why not?

First, the guys stood back-to-back as they disrobed. Some were more nervous then others. Then, on the count of three, they turned around. What ensued were lots of giggles, some hugging, some rating of one another’s schlongs, and even a game of “helicopter.”

Afterwards, the guys debriefed the experience.

You can see it here. And don't forget to stop by the comments. 

Franco and Rogan Suck Face

Here you go, Rose McGowan. You slam innocent gay men on floats but this one passes you by. Typical Hollywood tool. It's an article about James Franco and Seth Rogan gay baiting in a three-way kiss.

But first let me back up. The reason why Franco's sucking face with Rogan could be to divert attention from the Sony hack deal where e-mails were released about their venture, The Interview. I haven't seen it.

 The Interview currently carries a 40% "fresh" score on Rotten Tomatoes (that's awful), and its stars have gone silent to the press since the movie's premiere over the weekend. If Sony's data breach really is an act of North Korean reprisal, it's hard to imagine a movie less worth getting hacked over.

This is brutal.

Emails sent from UK Sony Pictures exec Peter Taylor to president of Sony Pictures Releasing International Steven O'Dell are particularly harsh, describing the comedy as a "misfire," "unfunny and repetitive," with "a level of realistic violence that would be shocking in a horror movie." Taylor holds one of the film's co-stars in particularly low regard: "James Franco proves once again that irritation is his strong suit which is a shame because the character could have been appealing and funny out of his hands."

There's more here. I suggest reading it when you have the time. There's too much to cover for one small post here, but it's an interesting account about the Sony hacks...and the way Channing Tatum writes e-mails :) The thing I find most interesting is that we're talking about people who are treated like US royalty and we pay them millions of dollars.

Here's more about the three-way gay baiting kiss.

Seth Rogen and James Franco have been on an impressive Sony hack distraction tour promoting their new film The Interview, even going as far as exchanging a little saliva with each other and Nick Kroll. Amy Pascal who?

Thanks in large part to the hilarious Kroll, dressed as publicist Liz, the sketch is unfortunately much funnier than the preview for the film the stars are out to promote.

There's more here about that.  Frankly, I'm starting to think Franco and Rogan have missed their calling. They'd be perfect for the Christians to use during conversion therapy. Watch this video once...could make you straight!!

Harry Louis Lawsuit

I posted about model Harry Louis last week and a lawsuit he might pursue over a disagreement with a Starbucks worker. But that's not the point here. I think the main point is the commentary about his lawsuit:

Last week, former Marc Jacobs boyfriend/Brazilian porn star Harry Louis had nasty spat with an airport Starbucks employee, prompting him to threaten the global coffee giant with a lawsuit.

As many a Queerty commenter pointed out, the idea of going after Starbucks for one comment from one employee in a Sao Paolo airport is just ludicrous.

That just blows me away. The images they show of Harry Louis are excellent. You don't want to miss them. But unless I'm mistaken they've already decided the bottom line of his impending lawsuit before he even filed, based on the comment section...because they're all qualified lawyers who get paid to do that.

You might think that's nothing and I'm making too much of it. But I think we're all in for problems in the future. I've seen several more significant cases being tried by the public through online commentary in the past few months and I'm starting to wonder if anyone has a chance anymore. Even those who are trying to help the people in litigation tend to make things worse. Sometimes no comment is the best comment.

Read more here.

Chase of a Christmas Dream

Monday, December 15, 2014

Women Writing Gay Romance, Again; Michael C. Hall on Gayface Roles; Oprah and Michael Sam; Virgin Gay Hook Up Stories

Women Writing Gay Romance, Again

When I say I'm often smacked in the face daily as a gay man with something homophobic, I don't exaggerate. Last night on Twitter I read a tweet by a straight male actor who has made his money and built his fandom playing a gay role on a popular TV series. We, as gay people, gave that to him without asking for anything in return. Yet last night he posted one of the most homophobic things I've ever read, promoting an age old gay stereotype, without even thinking twice about it. I expected better from him, but I'm not shocked either. I've seen it before. I'm not giving out names; I didn't comment on the tweet. But many other gay men did. Whether or not this straight male actor got the message is anyone's guess. My guess is that he's absolutely clueless, sadly. 

When I read his tweet my first thought was, Wow. My second thought was at least I don't have to deal with this in m/m romance or gay romance as a writer. I live in a much more open world. And then I went to my facebook inbox and found a private message that said that I'd been the topic of conversation over the weekend and there's a straight woman author out there who thinks I'm not supporting women who write gay romance. I'm not giving out names or links here because I wasn't there and I'm not sure how my name came up. All I know is that it was a "lively" conversation, and she's mistaken about how I feel about women writing gay (or) m/m romance. So I figured I would once again try to clarify that here on the blog.

This woman author clearly hasn't been following me or reading any of my blog posts over the years. I'm on record supporting, blogging about, and even reviewing many straight women who write gay romance. I even spent eight months of my life working part time on an anthology titled, The Women Who Love To Love Gay Romance. Here's just one post I wrote a while back on the subject. In that post I went after someone who was criticizing women who read m/m romance. Now if I were against women reading or writing gay romance or m/m romance would I have written this:

It's called The Women Who Love to Love Gay Romance and you can purchase it here for .99. Or, even better, you can find it here at ARe for free. That should tell you all you need to know, or at least it's a good start because these stories come from the heart of the women who read M/M romance. And although there is sex, that's NOT what it's all about.

That's not my only post on the topic, where I openly support women writing and reading m/m-gay romance. I posted this.    This link will lead you to a string of posts I did on the topic I love sharing. And this link is one I titled, "In Support of All the Women Writing M/M Fiction," because I really wanted to make my point clear that time. Here's an excerpt:

To be honest, when I first heard that so many straight women were writing (and reading) m/m romances, I was a little surprised. I've been writing lgbt fiction for almost twenty years and it just never occurred to me that straight women would be interested in writing gay romances. But then I read a few of their books and I liked what I was reading. G. A. Hauser dives right into her books with the kind of energy I look for in fiction. And the sweetest love story I read all year was written by a new author, Michele Montgomery.

Personally, I've been extremely annoyed with some of the things I've seen and read about straight women (or anyone who isn't gay) writing m/m fiction, and I wanted to make it clear that I have always supported them, and will continue to support them. After all, as a gay man I've been fighting for equal rights all my life, and I'm certainly not going to discriminate against anyone else.

Now if I were against women writing gay or m/m romance would I have posted all that so long ago? That post dates back to August 2010.

I even work with women...for the most part. My publishers, editors, and cover artists are all women. I like to think they can all back me on this. I've recently made a point of supporting feminists because I don't think we (gay men) do enough of that. So I just don't get why this woman author would make those kinds of comments about me. It doesn't make sense.

But just to make my point even clearer, last spring a gay man wrote a scathing piece about women writing gay-m/m romance and he slammed one of the most popular publishers who release m/m books. I don't work with that publisher, but I found it very shabby and I posted briefly about it here on the blog. I don't have a link to that one because the gay man read my post and he went after me in such a vituperative way that he actually went to goodreads and slammed me with one star ratings for books I know he didn't even read. Once again, I'm not mentioning names because I think there's something fundamentally wrong with someone who does things like that and I feel sorry for them. I took my post about him down because I didn't want to call attention to him or to the vicious way he'd attacked me. In fact, I didn't even know about how he reacted until October...months after it had happened. Which shows you how often I go to goodreads. My summer was spent in Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York with my mom who was diagnosed with bile duct cancer last January.

I will admit that I'm not fond of some cultural appropriation I see happening in discussions about gay fiction in a general sense, and about gay men. I'm not fond of the way some authors are constantly gaming to get attention. But that's not about women writing gay or m/m romance. That's a completely different topic and it has nothing to do with women writing gay-m/m romance. And the only reason I'm posting this now is because I'm going to use this as my "go-to" post in the future the next time someone brings up my name and makes allegations that are completely false. And if you see my name come up and I'm not there, take it all with a grain of proverbial salt. I'm either being misquoted, or someone's having a little vicious fun at my expense.

Side note: I think it's also interesting to point out that I've been the subject of many ridiculous rumors in the past ten years. One made claims I'm really a woman writing with a gay man's pen name. Another said I was part of a group of frat guys writing gay erotica. And the best one so far claimed I'm an alien from another planet. I'm not joking. It comes with the territory, and most are amusing. But it's important to clarify sometimes, too.

Michael C. Hall on Gayface Roles

Playing gayface is nothing new in Hollywood, and it's been done since they started to introduce gay characters in films and TV shows. Mark Ruffalo blew me away when he starred in The Normal Heart. He was brilliant.

Michael C. Hall plays gay roles and he does it very well. And you never see him making stupid comments on twitter or other social media. He claims he's drawn to those roles because 'There is something about people, for one reason or the other, who are marginalized by their circumstance that is compelling to me'

I often wonder if Hall feels the need to explain himself like so many of us do these days.

In any event, you can read more here.  

Oprah and Michael Sam

Talk about marginalization due to circumstances and it's hard to find a better example of anyone in the US than Michael Sam. That man is my hero just for that reason alone. He's African American, openly gay, trying to break out in a straight male dominated world, and fighting for his survival every minute of his life. I face discrimination daily as a gay men in the world, and two or three times daily in publishing as an author; Sam faces it three times more so because of his circumstances. If that's not difficult to do, I don't know what is. And I'm glad Oprah's doing this interview with him.

Now teamless, Sam will sit down with Winfrey for an in-depth interview with OWN after the airing of the documentary about the man who was one of the top defensive players in the nation while playing for the University of Missouri. 

According to OWN, the documentary follows Sam as he enters the world of professional football and vies for a spot on an NFL team.Cameras get up close and personal as he openly discusses a childhood fraught with tragedy and poverty, as well as his emotional decision to come out as a gay man in the world of pro sports. 

The documentary also captures the moment when Sam was drafted by the St. Louis Rams, the intense media scrutiny that immediately followed, and his struggle to stay focused despite the pressure and chaos.

You can read more here. I'm going to follow up on this as I see it come in. I'm starting to think a worthy crowdfunding project to get underway might be to help Michael Sam raise enough money to buy his own damn football team. I'd contribute to that any day.

Virgin Gay Hook Up Stories

Here's an interesting piece where 15 gay guys discuss their first hook up stories. It's done in a series of photos with captions. I think that's what they're called. The kind you see on Facebook with Grumpy Cat. It's not all what you'd expect.

In any event, here's one:

"I'm ashamed to admit my first gay experience was at a gas station glory hole."

You can see the rest here. There isn't one I can dispute. In fact, I have yet to hear the perfect story of a gay man who waited to have sex for the first time on his wedding night.

For me, unfortunately, it wasn't a dream come true. It was the backseat of a Mercedes in the parking lot of a gay club. At least it wasn't a mini van or a pick up truck. And I survived :)

Chase of a Christmas Dream